So I’m just gonna come right out and say it.
I got peed on today.
I have younger siblings, so it was definitely not the first time that happened to me. But it was definitely the most unexpected time.
For one, the baby was wearing a diaper. I know all about little boys and their urge to urinate the moment you remove a diaper (I think I’m one of the few people in my class who actually know how to change a diaper).
What I forgot was this: State hospitals are poor. Poor hospitals buy in bulk. Bulk means large amounts of generic-size diapers. Poor hospitals have overworked nurses. Overworked nurses tend not to double check that a diaper is securely fastened.
And of course, state hospitals don’t have those fancy rubber outer covers for diapers.
So I was doing my happy good deed of playing with the five-month-old abandoned baby. Abandoned babies tend to become neurodevelopmentally delayed because they don’t have anyone visiting them and stimulating their brains.
So I wanted to do it. It’s a cute baby – aren’t they all – so it wasn’t much of a sacrifice.
Until the baby smiled the cutest smile and I felt a warm trickle on my stomach.
Poor child probably didn’t understand why I put him back in his crib so suddenly.
Haha.. Nice one
When my son was a baby, he never once peed on me when I changed him. But my wife got shot at when she changed his diaper at least one time. He waited until she had taken the old one off and was getting ready to put the new one on. Not a moment too soon or too late…
My little brother would do the exact same thing!
Too funny! If it makes you feel any better, the little one had an explosive poop right on my hand this morning!
Bleeegh, that must have been horrible! I did that on my dad’s chest when I was about 6 weeks old… aren’t you glad you don’t have a hairy chest?