So I’m just gonna come right out and say it.
I got peed on today.
I have younger siblings, so it was definitely not the first time that happened to me. But it was definitely the most unexpected time.
For one, the baby was wearing a diaper. I know all about little boys and their urge to urinate the moment you remove a diaper (I think I’m one of the few people in my class who actually know how to change a diaper).
What I forgot was this: State hospitals are poor. Poor hospitals buy in bulk. Bulk means large amounts of generic-size diapers. Poor hospitals have overworked nurses. Overworked nurses tend not to double check that a diaper is securely fastened.
And of course, state hospitals don’t have those fancy rubber outer covers for diapers.
So I was doing my happy good deed of playing with the five-month-old abandoned baby. Abandoned babies tend to become neurodevelopmentally delayed because they don’t have anyone visiting them and stimulating their brains.
So I wanted to do it. It’s a cute baby – aren’t they all – so it wasn’t much of a sacrifice.
Until the baby smiled the cutest smile and I felt a warm trickle on my stomach.
Poor child probably didn’t understand why I put him back in his crib so suddenly.