1 September: Seven Years Later

As I grow older, I learn that there will always be more dates to remember. I am good with dates, but these are the dark kind. The ones I wish did not exist. I know that one day there will be so many that I cannot remember them all, and that many people will be collectively memorialised on Christmas and New Years’ days.

But some dates will never be added to the collective. Some dates will always stick out as especially sad, especially dark.

Spring Day. 1 September. It is the day we dress up in florals if the weather permits. But it is also the day that changed our family. That winded us, collectively. It is a trial that binds us, but still haunts us.

She was my aunt. Not my mother, daughter, or sister. But in a family as closely knit as mine, she might as well have been.

I cannot forget the guttural cries of protest, the slumped shoulders. I cannot forget the pain that sliced us on that day.

And we cannot forget that she was taken prematurely. That somebody took her life into his cold hands, and snuffed it out. And, in that same moment, took a part of our trust in our fellow man, in the justice system. Took a part of our security.

She loved lavender. She protected her children like a lioness. She was a petite lady with grace and poise. She was an artist.

She reminds me to be gentle with mourning families in hospital.

I cannot forget. And I do not wish to.


  1. Peace says:

    Oh dear. I’m sorry such a beautiful day is ruined for you. Sorry for your lose. I hope you find condolence in her beautiful memories.
    May she rest in peace.

  2. Sorry for your unexpected loss. You must miss her very much.

    1. Thank you. I do – we do. Though often it feels like she hasn’t left. I don’t know if that sounds crazy but she’s so present in all of us that I sometimes forget she’s gone.

  3. This is a beautiful tribute to someone who sounds like she was a lovely person. I hope more of your reminiscing is spent on the warm memories rather than the pain of loss.

    1. Thanks, Haylee. I do try. Especially when I am around my family, we manage to reminisce about the beautiful times spent together.

  4. harveylisam says:

    I’m sorry, love. ❤

  5. Cait says:

    I’m so sorry for you. 😐 I’m hopeless at saying encouraging things, and I’ve never experienced this myself, so…*hugs* So incredibly sorry for your loss.

    1. Thanks hon. Your well wishes were enough 🙂

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